Parenthood changes your life irrevocably, and your sex life is no exception. However, having children doesn't mean you can't enjoy sex. In fact, making time for yourself without children and reconnecting with your partner is essential. But you'll need to be proactive if you want a healthy sex life.
Make Time for Sex
It's essential that you make time to connect with yourself and your partner sexually. While scheduling sex doesn't necessarily sound sexy, not having sex at all because you don't spontaneously have time for it isn't all that sexy, either! Remember that you're not necessarily scheduling sex. Instead, set some time aside for you and your partner, perhaps for a date night. Swapping childcare duties one night a month is a great way to ensure you have that time.
Slow down, really talk, and make eye and bodily contact. If the mood strikes, feel free to get down and dirty. But even if it doesn't, you've just spent some quality, childfree time with your partner. Need a little alone time? Don't feel guilty if you send the kids off to your sister's just so you can enjoy your favorite sex toys. We all need to cut loose every once in a while!
Don't Put Off Sex
A lot of parents put off having sex because their children are home. However, doing so may mean you're missing out on the opportunity to enjoy intimacy with your partner and teach your children about boundaries, a lesson that will surely benefit them throughout their lives.
So talk about the importance of privacy and expectations about knocking before entering. Discuss the difference between an emergency and something that can wait while reassuring your children that you'll always be there. Install a lock on your bedroom door if you need to. Consider tapestries or a white noise machine to drown out noise (a ball gag is a sexier option to consider!).
Remember that accidents sometimes happen, so know what you'll say if your kids discover you having sex. However, as your kids get older, they'll want more time to themselves, so ensuring privacy for sex will become easier. And the lessons about boundaries and privacy you impart will create an environment that helps everyone be comfortable.
Maintaining a healthy sex life as a parent doesn't just keep you happy and connected to your partner. Your children will learn from your sex-positive attitude, even when you think you're not teaching them. As they grow old enough to learn about their bodies, relationships, and sex, you can emphasize the importance of making room for one's sexuality and caring for yourself. And because you prioritize your sexual health and happiness, you'll be practicing what you preach!